Confronting 'IT'

Not sure how many times I've tried. 

Here's to trying again. To not giving up on this 'self'. 

To being grateful for not just 'everything but me', but also 'me'. 

Thanks world. For being gentle and kind, even when I wasn't. Thanks for the realisations. 

It's not been easy, I know. Lately, things have gotten more complex maybe. Or rather, this is the new normal. There is a core element missing, maybe there's like glimpses of it that keep showing up once in a while. I don't blame the conditionality of it .. I guess I don't even blame myself. There is a deeper restlessness that defines this normal. Maybe I have to undo it. 

To be honest, I've tried. To ask, to uncover. I guess it comes to you when it's meant to come to you. 

So, here's to being more patient. Yet, remembering to want it more and more. And trying harder I guess. Yes, I didn't try it hard enough. And yes, I'm to blame for it. Here's to another attempt. Stand by me world, please? 

When the thorn bush turns white, that's when I'll come home. 

I am going out to see what I can sow. 

And I don't know where I'll go, and I don't know what I'll see. 

But I'll try not to bring it back home with me. 

In the full moon's light, I'll listen to the stream.