12 Januarys and magic.

Every year 12 January hits different. 

Not with the clearest of memories, but I remember the years few years ago which used to be very very heavy before things changed. 

This year was different. It's almost like I'm completely out of those phases where I'd feel an inherent redundancy and a feeling of not wanting to move, just lying still. I don't know. Some call the heaviness they experience as depression. Somehow, the old experiences (seems I'm away from those feelings currently) are far away. And, no, I don't like to call it depression. Maybe if they had worded it differently, I could've thought about it. 

So, yes. I feel different. V has a lot to do with it. He's a very nice husband, and more cuter a cat father (who on most days doesn't like cats, but loves Orla and Nemo). 

Anyways, he's going to come back today. We started our holiday season this winter a bit earlier, on 25 December. Thanks to weddings it went on till 6 January for me, he added a few work trips and returns tonight. 

12th Januarys bring me magic of different sorts every year. And, I can't ever be thankful enough for what I get to witness and experience. In teeny tiny moments, when I ask the world for little things, it rotates its wand and there .. the blue cloth disappeared in thin air! 

I tried something new today, thinking I should. I am actively fighting my way out of the self created crisis (or so I call it but who knows!). I failed. Small failure, but rather a long consistent pattern of habits. Bad habits. 

This year, I've two targets in mind - one is to fight my way through this streak of failures, and start caring about self a bit more. And the other one should hopefully come along :) 

Thanks for magic, love and what not, world. I wish I could convey how I feel in words. 

All that we could ever dream about!