This is probably 12 years later, since he passed away. 8 years since she could talk about it. 5 years since she found the strength to move on. And a few years since she has moved on. 12th Januarys still find it easy to bring those chills in the air though. A bit of gloom, gush of good old memories, and a few tears.
Its a new world now, with the world flowing on omicron, and some of us gazing out in the sky for hope. There is some faith left maybe. Alongside, there is a strong feeling of feeling out of place. Belonging or not belonging is such a tragic tale. Sometimes, too much love gets suffocating and other times, lack of love gets distressing. She keeps swaying in the in-betweens.
Her heart is a mess again, kinda broken too, yet quite grateful for it all. Comparison and feeling luckier or more blessed is not on her mind today, 'cause she knows that she is graciously blessed. She doesn't know anymore where she could go, or where she could stay. Maybe knocking on a new door is a move driven by self love or is it self pity, who knows. If only she knew where she belonged.
Its a strange territory to have found that essentially, she belongs to no-one and that no-one belongs to her. Maybe she did the right thing, 'cause they said love should set you free.
The world has entered a strange place. Things that seemed certain (beyond death and taxes) are no longer the same. It's a time for re-evaluation.
ReplyDeleteThe saying goes, "if you love something, set it free." I am not too sure about this. Setting love free and it may not return. Keeping love close may suffocate it. Yes, I feel life has changed too much in the past 2 years that we will never look back and feel the security we once took for granted
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