To die.

Today, like many of those before, is a day

when I want to die.

I have tried and cried,

but I cannot escape this feeling anymore and lie.

I am grateful for it all, yet it all crushes me,

on days I am left with nothing.

Everything is here, yet this pain belittles me,

to a point where I seek no existence.

I know one day it will come,

and all this pain will slowly ooze away.

Well, I can't lie, I had planned and thought

and dreamt, knowing I couldn't design its stay.

The new good thing I believe I have,

is this new pact that takes away the at 30 clause.

I know I am not allowed to intend it, and I won't.

But I can wait. Whose will is it anyway?

    

There we go again.