Is she around you?
She is. She's been here. But we've been far too distant to know each other, living in separate worlds.
She searched for me. Last night when I heard from her, it broke me down.
She came back for you?
She wasn't supposed to. I don't think I could take it. I asked her to come, but right then I left, making sure I didn't have to face her.
She's his reflection. Sisters often are. Similar worlds, similar smiles, similar selves.
I hope you know it wasn't her fault?
I've told myself none of it was. However what I know is different.
Do you blame her?
I loved her like she is my sister. Still do. Secretly made sure nothing bothered her. I want to be around, making sure that she doesn't know it, ever.
Why?
The thread that connected us is broken, beyond repair. He's dead. I don't know how to still know her and not know it happened.
She is. She's been here. But we've been far too distant to know each other, living in separate worlds.
She searched for me. Last night when I heard from her, it broke me down.
She came back for you?
She wasn't supposed to. I don't think I could take it. I asked her to come, but right then I left, making sure I didn't have to face her.
She's his reflection. Sisters often are. Similar worlds, similar smiles, similar selves.
I hope you know it wasn't her fault?
I've told myself none of it was. However what I know is different.
Do you blame her?
I loved her like she is my sister. Still do. Secretly made sure nothing bothered her. I want to be around, making sure that she doesn't know it, ever.
Why?
The thread that connected us is broken, beyond repair. He's dead. I don't know how to still know her and not know it happened.
It reminds me from lyrics from the song, "Somebody that I used to Know" - But that was love and it's an ache I still remember. Having recently broken up, I'm in a mode like that one.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find your peace LL. This world is yet mysteriously beautiful.
DeleteAwe, how do you do that? It must be so heartbreaking to see his similar smile and other things... how sad but sweet that you want to be there for her. You always touch me with your writing, it's raw and opened...
ReplyDeleteSigh. Maybe it is not only in her that she saw his reflection. He was everywhere.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful thiswas!
very touching..
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wonder what humanity would be like if there was no death. The thought scares me.
ReplyDelete/Avy
http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com
♥
I know. Sometimes, involuntarily, letting these things define the self is rather wrong. The worst part is, its not a choice.
Deletebeautifully written.
ReplyDeleteThis writing is open and emotional. One can't helped but be sucked in.
ReplyDeleteoy, its hard being around those people that always remind us of them...and there is def much more to this than you tell but we fill that in with our own stories....
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. You have a very nice blog. You are very good with words! I am now following you!
ReplyDeleteBeth
very powerful prose.
ReplyDelete(thanks for stopping in!)
The reminder is always going to be there
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and very moving.
ReplyDeletesuch a lovely&emotional piece of writing! x
ReplyDeleteTruly poignant- so moving.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful - Like reading a short story. Will you be developing it into a story perhaps?
ReplyDeletePacked with sentiments. Beautiful writing.
ReplyDeletewow incredible.....I don't know who you were writing about in this piece but it reminds me of how my mom visited me in my bedroom a year after she died....
ReplyDeleteThis made me think of the book "What Dreams May Come" for some reason. Cool writing.
ReplyDeleteWow...this post is wow.. :)
ReplyDelete