The little girl knew nothing of what fear ever was.
It watched her grow hiding in the corners behind those unlocked doors, while she played with her toys in the house.
It stood in the rain, watching as she danced in the rain in the porch with her mother.
It peeped in the nights, when she slept between her mother and father.
It stared on her face as she lied on the bed with closed eyes.
It sat in the car's rear seat, as she drove away thinking of being free.
As she walked beneath the moonlight in the pavement between the steep and the lake, he watched her pass across it on the way, and as she took two steps ahead, he grabbed her from behind, made her fall and ran away, reminding her that it was back.
Fear. Darker, stronger, and larger.
Fear of men. Of their presence.
Strange, it was about to engulf her.
All she could do was let it consume herself, as she wrote this down to be read by you.
P.S.
Strangely, I've been scared of men. Always. In different ways.
This made it very real for me to accept what had always existed.
It watched her grow hiding in the corners behind those unlocked doors, while she played with her toys in the house.
It stood in the rain, watching as she danced in the rain in the porch with her mother.
It peeped in the nights, when she slept between her mother and father.
It stared on her face as she lied on the bed with closed eyes.
It sat in the car's rear seat, as she drove away thinking of being free.
As she walked beneath the moonlight in the pavement between the steep and the lake, he watched her pass across it on the way, and as she took two steps ahead, he grabbed her from behind, made her fall and ran away, reminding her that it was back.
Fear. Darker, stronger, and larger.
Fear of men. Of their presence.
Strange, it was about to engulf her.
All she could do was let it consume herself, as she wrote this down to be read by you.
P.S.
Strangely, I've been scared of men. Always. In different ways.
This made it very real for me to accept what had always existed.
Interesting to hear from this side, but interestingly enough, so am I. Men inflict most of the pain on this world and I don't trust them in general. It's not an unimaginable thing, I get it.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that men can scare somebody. What scared me more than men was the injustice and partiality between men and women that society created.
ReplyDeleteHopefully one day a very good man ( in every way possible ) will take the fear out for good.
In a strange way, so am I. Even as a young girl, I was terrified of my father although he never physically hurt me. If this story is about you, I am so sorry that it happened to you. I'm thinking about you dear.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Beautiful words.
ReplyDeleteSome men can be pretty scary. They're built larger, stronger.
Wish the best to you, don't let your fear eat you away.
<3
Harlynn
mindyourmadness.blogspot.com
Fear is a very controlling thing... but I do know what you mean.. I have a good healthy fear of men, I try not to be in bad situations with them... this was very poignant and thought provoking :)
ReplyDelete"It sat in the car's rear seat, as she drove away thinking of being free."
ReplyDeleteDAMN.
This was brilliant.!!
I cant write such stuffs for nuts! :(
This was a very emotive write. I like the way that fear was personified here, and it's not unreasonable at all for a woman to fear men. Unfortunately men have given women lots of reasons to fear them.
ReplyDeleteThis is very well written.
ReplyDeleteSent a shiver down my spine!
I have been blessed as I have never had a fear of men but I can so understand this writing.
ReplyDeleteI had a good friend that was raped while I was in another room not far from her,
It happened a long time ago when we attended a college party.
Thanks for the visit and kind words.
Unsettling memories, well written.
ReplyDeleteI guess even now women are not safe
ReplyDeleteugh. i hate to imagine what led to this point....to instill that kind of fear....it twists my stomach actually....that some men would do such damage....
ReplyDeletethere is an element of fear that grows within us as we grow up, it could be of just about anything irrespective of one is a man or woman...
ReplyDeleteand this ugly face of fear that you speak about seem to haunt most women :( esply in our country..
Interesting phobia you have there.
ReplyDeletebrave words darling, I think more women than you can possible imagine would relate to this fear xoxo
ReplyDeletehttp://thepersephonecomplex.blogspot.co.uk/
Well, this is sad ... and I do not know what else to say. Unfortunately, since ages, men have tried to control the world, and in the process harmed women, creating the fear in them. But, not all men are bad, and you shouldn't fear everyone.
ReplyDeleteWell put.
ReplyDeleteBut its not men that I fear...its mankind. Its amazing how capable we are of cruelty, whether it is to each other, to animals or nature. Hearts of stone.
You can't let fear hold you back----ever. These are the same demons I face daily. Beautifully expressed.
ReplyDeleteAffraid.of.men... i know about that too... i know what you mean...
ReplyDeleteThis is brave and sad and deep... let it all out... beautifully written
Once you stop being afraid you can live your life the way you always wanted to.
ReplyDelete/Avy
http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com
♥
Fear freezes me, holds me in a dark place. It is through great effort that I move forward and strike out at the things I fear.
ReplyDeleteAsh sneakers are fast becoming the go-to footwear option for an array of stylish individuals.
ReplyDeletesome men are not that fear worthy...some of em..
ReplyDeleteLove the way you write. Heart touching. <3
ReplyDeleteKeep blogging..!
http://beimperfectbutreal.blogspot.in/