Moving Away.

on

I don't know if this serves the purpose and suffices as a solution, but yes I'm doing everything to find my way out of the place where I am at, right now.
I have a plan of consecutive trips going on and off incessantly, so that I run out of times of confrontations with self.
I boarded off to Jodhpur in the first go, stayed there for 10 days, returned.. spent a few days at home..followed by a few days at the hostel of college.. then boarded for Pune.. stayed there for a day.. then Dharwad, Karnataka.. then back to Pune.. longer stay this time..Then home again..
And tomorrow I'm leaving for college again.
This is 'cause the end semesters begin on this 9th, as soon as they get over on the 17th, I'm planning to work on a Mumbai Moot.. till 24th.. and finally, leaving for a winter internship at Delhi on the 25th..
Fortunately this would mean no mash up with places nearby S till the 25th December.
And when I return, I'd be too awaited for family, so probably, I'd save the tears.
January itself would mean the new semester excitement followed by the Mumbai Moot Trip.. So there's no way I'm thinking about him till then.

This seems like escapism, but somehow, this is the only thing that seems to have worked well enough.
Smoking doesn't suffice as well.
Winning competition made me cry like Shit and that's when I realized, that neither winning nor losing would now make a difference.. I just need to keep moving to different places all the time.
I terribly miss him along. But, on the way those thoughts of him keep reminding me that somewhere along he's there.. and somehow or the other, he'll find a way out of it..though this sounds insane, but I can never believe that he's no more now. It just doesn't make itself believe-worthy to me.

Comments

  1. SandyCarlson5 November 2012 at 07:59

    The need to move, to get away from a story, to get to a new one, to move on again...I know the feeling. All my own moving about has shown me that home is right here. (And there....)

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  2. Rahul5 November 2012 at 18:47

    Starting again..rebooting life..I can only wish you the very best...:-) You seem to be doing the right thing-keeping yourself occupied..It's probably the right decision..

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  3. A Reckless Dreamer6 November 2012 at 02:28

    sometimes faith is all that pulls us through. The more we try to move away from something or escape as you put it, the more it lingers on and makes it harder.
    Hope you find your peace soon.
    And thanks for the very lovely message on my post. It does make me feel better and releases me somehow from the shielded space or whatever. Thank You!
    + To me it matters +

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  4. Momina6 November 2012 at 20:53

    Soon you'll find a place where your heart is! Best of luck!

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  5. Jerly8 November 2012 at 09:03

    Everything takes its time to heal. U must allow for it to hurt and take its own time healing. Pain is also an important lesson. It is also the right thing to distract oneself and load oneself with work. It is a recognized measure to overcome grief.:) In the meantime u cud read this awesome post that I simply loved. It could help get along with the changes that is part of lifehttp://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-blessings-of-unrequited-love/

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