The innate attraction to the devil.

This sounds strange probably, but people like me have a very strong attraction towards doing things qualified as 'wrong' for the normal people. Worst part is when it seems so right despite knowing the repercussions.
This has meant, I've been in probably every wrong place at wrong times, without feeling guilty about it.
This innate attraction towards it makes it cheesier.
Not that I like doing wrong, it's just that sometimes it's not possible to make it sound 'wrong' to your own ears.
Overdosing sleeping pills has been my favourite of everything, it nullifies every feeling, despite how crackling that might be.
Nicotine, despite how hard it was to be doing it, yet I felt so fuckin' interested in doing it, that every thought that classified it as wrong got itself fucked up.
When with S, it sounded no wrong at all.
The thing is, despite all, I feel that we shouldn't blame ourselves and never classify whatever we did as being wrong. 'cause at that standpoint of time, we were probably right in chosing whatever we chose. Regret is no option. It was right, and remains right if you felt so.

Every time I think of what am I doing to myself being in these wrong places, I always find a better justification than I had the last time!